I'm participating in the Blogging from A-Z Challenge again this year. Today's post is brought to you by the letter B.
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Mere hours before I found out I was pregnant with baby Sawyer, I was celebrating a huge weight loss goal. Once I realized I'd be gaining weight for a greater purpose, I swore I would try my best to control it. Spoiler alert: I didn't control a damn thing. At 30 weeks, I've gained a whopping 40 lbs, which puts me right on track w/ my previous 2 pregnancies. There are days the scale makes me cry and days I avoid it because ignorance is bliss. My doc warned me that I'd probably gain pretty quick since I was restricting calories to lose the weight, but I wanted to live in the land where I had the "perfect" amount gained in a "perfect" little bump. No big hips and love handles, no fat arms or legs. I know now that was unrealistic.
As I said, I've gained more than the recommended 25-35 lbs with each of my pregnancies. With my first pregnancy, I gained 51 lbs. The 2nd time around, I topped that by 10 lbs. Time will tell where I find myself on the scale when Sawyer arrives. Whatever the number, I will hate it. I will wish I had done x, y, and z differently. I will agonize over it because that's what I do. It's stupid and even as I type this, I wish it weren't the way my brain works. I wish I was at peace with whatever my body decides to do during pregnancy and feel confident regardless. That's just not me. I prefer to beat myself up and sit miserably in my self-loathing.
There is one thing that wipes out the self-hatred and my unhealthy obsession with the number on the scale: bump photos. It's incredible what our bodies do when we're growing humans and it's hard to feel anything but gratitude and joy when I see my belly swelling with life. It's incredible, even at it's worst. And so, for today, I'm going to share some bump pictures, both past and present.
As I said, I've gained more than the recommended 25-35 lbs with each of my pregnancies. With my first pregnancy, I gained 51 lbs. The 2nd time around, I topped that by 10 lbs. Time will tell where I find myself on the scale when Sawyer arrives. Whatever the number, I will hate it. I will wish I had done x, y, and z differently. I will agonize over it because that's what I do. It's stupid and even as I type this, I wish it weren't the way my brain works. I wish I was at peace with whatever my body decides to do during pregnancy and feel confident regardless. That's just not me. I prefer to beat myself up and sit miserably in my self-loathing.
There is one thing that wipes out the self-hatred and my unhealthy obsession with the number on the scale: bump photos. It's incredible what our bodies do when we're growing humans and it's hard to feel anything but gratitude and joy when I see my belly swelling with life. It's incredible, even at it's worst. And so, for today, I'm going to share some bump pictures, both past and present.
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| 6 mos pregnant w/ Trinity |
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| The night before Trinity was born, 37.5 weeks along |
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| 16 weeks along w/ Presley |
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| 38 weeks pregnant w/ Presley |
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| 15 weeks pregnant w/ Sawyer |
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| 30 weeks with Sawyer...and bigger every day! |
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