Day to day life is pretty busy, but more than that, I've really been lacking inspiration and motivation when it comes to writing. This is new territory for me b/c writing is my "thang". To be completely honest, motherhood is sucking the life right outta me. And I mean that in the best and worst possible way. (If you have kids, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout.) My 3 kids consume every waking hour and that leaves so little energy to put into stringing semi-complete sentences together in a way that makes sense to other humans. There's the metaphor folks like to throw around about self-care being the equivolent of filling an empty cup. Let's just say that my cup is not only empty, but is gathering dust and cobwebs. So the idea of doing more than what I do already is unappealing and damn near impossible.
That being said, I felt moved to pop over to this here bloggy-blog and post. Since it's not something I've given much effort in several months, I thought it wise to grab this moment by the balls.
First order of business is the obligatory update. The most newsworthy happening since my last post has been my health journey (God, I really hate that term. But I lack a better one, so I'm rolling with it...and puking in my mouth a little every time I use it.) I'm 52 lbs down since March 2018, with a measly and stubborn 12 lbs until I can transition from weight loss to maintenance mode. Something I'm extremely excited for, but feels just out of reach. The first question every person has if they haven't seen me in awhile is "how did you do it"? If you're not a FB friend, then this will be new info. If you are a FB friend, this is old news and you probably want to skip over this paragraph. Here's the magical trick: eat healthy and move your ass. That's it. I use SparkPeople to track my calories and macros and until recently kept my daily calorie count between 1500-1800. In an effort to break a nearly 2 month plateau, I am reducing my calories to 1300. Once I reach my goal weight of 130 lbs, I'll gradually increase my calories to 1800-2000 per day and truthfully, I'll probably slack off of the food tracking and just keep making good choices. I also walk or dance between 30-100 minutes as a form of "working out". I do this 5-7 days per week because it's fun and keeps my stress levels slighly in check. I've recently added in some strength training stuff to get some booty gains. Nothing wild and crazy; just squats and these torturous things called "fire hydrants". None of this is going to change when I hit my goal weight. My body likes to be in motion.
I am still working for the same company, working from home so that I can be with my kiddos. It's a blessing and can be really freaking hard, too. But I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. I'm on my 2nd year as a board member for Labrys Society. Last year I was just a plain ole' board member, but this year I'm the Secretary. Or Madame Secretary, as I like to be addressed. It makes me want to wear pencil skirts and pointy glasses. The role doesn't bring with it much change from last year, except I have to be better at taking notes during the monthly meetings and then type them up and email them to the rest of the board. And it puts me up close with a rotating cast of drag queens and kings, while raising funds for local non-profits. It's pretty much the coolest thing in the world.The hubs and I also became the new owners of a mobile movie business where we rent out a 12 foot tall inflatable screen and projector so people can host outdoor movie nights. I don't anticipate that business will bring in much income, but it is a fun side hustle and is very closely related to our original dream of one day owning a video rental store.
In other news, we're 47 days away from our first big vacation in YEARS!! The 5 of us will be loading up in the family truckster aka Duncan Highlander and will be driving down for a full week of fun in Anaheim, CA. We're doing Disneyland and Universal with 3 kids. So thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Back to my original train of thought re: my absence from blog-land, I have some words to share. My blog reads very much like a diary. This is where I come to dump my thoughts in the most eloquent way I know how. It isn't a popular style of blogging in the grand scheme of things, but it's what works for me. I have gotten more entrenched in Insta life and follow several local Mom bloggers. These are women who are way cooler than me (not a high standard to live up to), and their blogs are prettier and more topic-centric. For awhile I thought about scrapping this blog and trying to go for something that would garner a stronger following. Something more "professional" and less personal. Maybe even something that could bring in a small source of income. That idea sent me into a spiral of anxiety because it meant that I would have to be able to come up with real content, make a presence on social media, and be dilligent. It would become work and bring with it a whole slew of new ways to fail.
Don't get me wrong: I'm all for reaching new goals, breaking out of comfort zones, and trying something new. That is AWESOME. I am just not there yet. I'm not in a place where I can plan and post relevent content. I am not in a place where what I experience or have to say would appeal to many people. I have to come to terms with this fact and be okay with it, because while part of me wants to jump up on that bandwagon, another part of me feels like it's overdone and will be another passing fad by the time I get started. I'm always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to trends and I don't necessarily feel called to use my writing skills in that way. I do know I want to eventually do more than post my diary online for 80-100 people to read and I want to post more often. Right now, though, I don't know what that looks like for me. My family, work, and gypsy volunteerism consumes me. Maybe I need to rearrange; or maybe I need to sit in this season and enjoy it until it passes and I have more freedom to pursue something solely for myself. I can't really tell yet how this will all pan out. In the meantime, I do plan to make more of an effort to post here, even if it's more journalling than anything else. I hope you will keep reading, and I think it would be grand if a few new people stumbled their way over here and found something I said inspiring or interesting, or even funny. And if anything changes and I discover my passion and the way to bring it out in some creative way, you know I'll share that here, too, because oversharing is also my "thang".
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