After a couple weeks or so of planning, myself & 3 of my girl friends hit the road on the adventure of a lifetime. We made a 1 day trip to Portland to meet the Bloggess. (Seriously, if you don't know her, you need to get w/ the program!) She was doing a book signing at Powell's books yesterday at 7pm, so we decided to make a day of it. We drove to Portland where we met up w/ our 5th partner-in-crime and embarked on a day we will never ever ever forget.
I spent the 5 hour drive to Portland working on a cross-stitch (aka crotch-stitch) gift for the Bloggess. I totally over-estimated my skills, thinking I could finish it up during the drive & still have time to spare. Yeah, not so much. Before I knew it, we were in Portland & I still had quite a bit of stitching left to do.
|That's me working on the words & Chrysi doing the horn|
|The Validator: making insecure people |
feel good about themselves every day.
So once again we were on the Trus and once again, I was working on that gift. (I should point out that in the '90s, people don't look at you funny even if you are under the age of 80 & cross-stitching in public.) There was more discussion about the Trus, arrival times, and whether you are supposed to hold your breath when you drive through a tunnel or if you are supposed to honk your horn in the tunnel & hold your breath on a bridge. Chrissie & Chrysi decided to hold their breath in the tunnel, completely disregarding the fact that this particular tunnel is miles long. After a few seconds, they let their breath out. Chrysi did so in a burst of saliva that splattered all over my face & all over the lady behind me, which would have gotten her shanked in the 2000s, but in the 90s it only got her a dirty look or five.
After some debate on whether it was the right stop or not, we found ourselves completely unsure of where the hell we were. Chrissie was trying to use her phone to navigate us, but at this point it was less than half an hour until the Bloggess' book signing was scheduled to start & Unique was already fighting off rabid fans as she was saving seats for all of us. (Oh yeah, did I mention that she got there a full hour before us? It's clear to see who the smart person in our group was!) We all decided to ride in one of the cabs that were sitting in the parking lot near where we got off the Max. As we started walking up to the first cab, we noticed it had magnetic signs on it, which didn't give us a high level of comfort as to it's business legitimacy since they clearly couldn't even commit to permanent decals on their vehicle. That cabbie could barely speak English to tell us whether or not he knew where Powell's bookstore was, so we wandered up to the next cab. No sooner had Chrissie, Chrysi, and Courtney gotten up to the window of that cab did they see that this particular car was equipped with one of those breathalyzer machines that they give to people who have had too many DUIs. Chrysi just said "No way, never mind, we're fucking walking!", which, again, in the 2000s would have gotten us gunned down, but in the 90s people are more accepting of loud-mouthed tourists so we didn't even garner a second thought from the alcoholic cabby.
|Courtney, her book, and the|
lightning-fast hand that won it.
|That's right, bitches!|
Around 9pm or so, it was time to drop Courtney off so the 4 of us could make the 5 hour drive back home. We had all been awake for too damn long. We stopped & had a bite to eat, played highway games, and talked the whole way home. When I finally crawled into my bed, I had been awake for over 24 hours.
The hellish heat, the sleep deprivation, the painful sore where my flip-flops rubbed & subsequently ripped a blister between my toes, the Carpal Tunnel syndrome I will be getting from the crazy stitching, and the many near-shanking experiences were all suddenly minor inconveniences in the grand scheme of things. I met the Bloggess, a woman who is hilarious and anxiety-ridden and magical. A woman who inspires us to wear our flaws with pride, rather than hiding them in shame b/c we're all fucked up in our own special ways. Yesterday, I went on a wild adventure with 4 ridiculously rad bitches. We now have our own inside jokes (I don't like oreos), shared stories, and photographic evidence of an experience that no one else has ever had. It's OUR story and it's fucking EPIC.
|Thank you, Jenny Lawson, Courtney, Unique, Chrissie & Chrysi for one of the greatest days I've ever had!|
I just wanted to share my cohort Courtney's blog post about our adventure. Enjoy!