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Monday, April 29, 2013

Yentas

I am participating in the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.  Each day in April (except Sunday), I will post topic themes that begin with the letters of the alphabet, from A-Z.  Today's letter is Y.

For those unfamiliar with the term "Yenta", allow me to elaborate:

n. - (Yiddish) a woman who talks too much; a gossip unable to keep a secret; a woman who spreads rumors and scandal


When I think of a Yenta, I tend to focus less on the gossip aspect and more on the kinship.  Like having your own version of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.  I envision a group of women who know each other better than they know themselves.  Women who raise their children together and then go on to be old biddies together.  Like the Golden Girls, except with husbands and separate houses.  Drinking far more than is appropriate for their age and spouting out the most inappropriately hilarious things in public.  

I didn't grow up in one place, so my Yentas don't fit the bill as Ya-Yas because we didn't form a bond in elementary school, nor did we perform some silly rituals as children that held us together throughout our teens and into adulthood.  I have quite a few female friends, several of whom I love with my whole heart, but the Yentas get a separate distinction.   In my mind, there are a select few life experiences that women go through together that takes a friendship from being close to being sister-like.  That sister-like friendship is what I consider Yenta-status.  
Karaoke w/ my Yentas

In books and in movies, close girl friends get together nearly every day or talk on the phone constantly.  Their husbands/boyfriends are background players, taking a lesser role to their friendship.  This is another point where I think we differ.  We all love our guys & prefer to spend most of our time with them.  The instances of man-free get togethers are very few & far between.  When they do happen, they're fun and we promise to do it more often, but we never do because the reality is that we miss our guys when they're not around.  We also have kids or step kids, so weekend getaways aren't exactly in the cards.  Also, it's 2013...who talks on the phone these days?!  Not us!

If I had to choose my Yentas right now, there would only be 2.  There are 2 others that I consider very close, but like I said before, there are certain milestones in life that women experience together that makes them closer than friends.  Since I'm making up this little gang in my head, I might as well make those runner-up Yentas into a "thing".  Like interns or pledges.  Of course, this is all from my perspective.  There is no Grand Poobah and if there were, it certainly wouldn't be me.  Maybe these girls don't want to be considered Yentas.  Maybe they think it's derogatory.  Of course, I usually call them bitches & they never have a problem with that, so somehow I think Yenta won't bother them. 

Did you hear that, Chrysi & Chrissie?!  You bitches are my Yentas.  Deal with it.

15 comments:

  1. Very cool post! I wish I had girlfriends I was close with. We've all grown apart and it's just too hard to keep in touch. Having a husband and kids changes so much. But if you have friends that can stick with you through all of that, then those are ones to keep for sure! You are very lucky =).

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    1. I have grown apart from a lot of the friends I had when I was younger. We're still friends, but pretty much only on fb. I think the friendships I've made in the last decade or so have stood the test of time b/c we're all in pretty much the same boat. (Married or in relationships, many w/ kids, and all short on free time.) I think our friendships work b/c we're all busy, so we're understanding when we go weeks or even a couple months without hanging out. It's nice. :)

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  2. I was starting to get a complex getting called a bitch all the.... Wait no I wasn't. I could deal with being a yenta. Do we get to haze our pledges? It's never too late for a ritual.... Just sayin

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    1. Hazing is absolutely appropriate! We must come up w/ a plan for this. *lol*

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  3. I think close friendships have to take a backseat to being a wife and mother, otherwise ...why be a wife or mother. But, I've only had a few really close friends for a long period of time, because of moving, changing schools. And or, they moved and you loose track. Sad, but a reality with life. AND often you simply grow up differently and grow apart not together.

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    1. Everything takes a backseat to being a wife and mother and I've been lucky that most of my friends understand that. At the same time, I'd be lost if I couldn't have those inside jokes w/ my Yentas or have the opportunity to hang out w/ them, sometimes w/out the guys/kids, even if it only happens once a year or less. :)

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    2. Speaking of that.... We need to plan that. It should be mandatory every 6 months or something. Cause this is some Bullshit.

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    3. Chrysi, Rayna, & I were just talking about how fun it would be for us & you to go up & see Courtney together. Stay overnight, go to a drag queen show, drink too much, and generally make fools of ourselves.

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  4. I love your post and your word choice. I am Jewish, so you can imagine how often I've heard this word. I've always related it more with women from flicks like the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

    Hi, I am a new follower from the challenge.

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    1. Thanks for reading! :) I love the word. It just sounds fun. :)

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  5. I thought the Yentas were also the match-makers, given their knowledge of the community.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting
    Life in the Urban Forest (my poetry blog)

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    1. I don't know that I'd be great at finding matches for people, but I'm excellent at telling if people are right for each other or not. *lol*

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  6. I wonder if anybody really does have girl friends like in the movies. My yentas are like yours, although now that so many are adding babies that there's even less time for girls night out type events...

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    1. I don't know anyone who has girl friends like the in the movies, although I do joke about my friends going single white female on me. *lol*

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