I am participating in the Blogging From A-Z Challenge. Each day in April (except Sunday), I will post topic themes that begin with the letters of the alphabet, from A-Z. Today's letter is E.
One of the joys of modern technology is that it keeps us connected to people we may not otherwise talk to on a regular basis. We can see pictures of their kids or keep up with the goings-on in their lives. Sometimes, however, it can keep us tied to someone we had tried to disconnect from already: THE EX. *cue ominous music*
So here you are, occasionally ranting about the ex on fb. You may be carefully editing who sees the posts, but for the most part, you're carefree. Hell, your privacy settings make everything friends-only and your friends love this shit. If you're in a new relationship, you might also be unabashedly shouting your love from the rooftops or bragging on the latest & greatest thing your "trade-up" has done. Again, your friends are happy that you're happy, so they encourage your lovey-dovey posts with "likes" in the double-digits & congratulatory comments. Some who have been around awhile might even remind you of your good fortune by bringing up the ex & mentioning your previous misery. Everything is going great. UNTIL............
...the ex sends you a friend request. *gasp*
Now you're at a crossroads. Do you accept the friend request, allowing access to your private life; a life you no longer share with your ex? A life in which your ex's only role is a history lesson in what not-to-do, a great "oh snap" joke, and (as you sometimes point out in a status update) the unfortunately-for-you other half of your child's DNA? Or do you deny the request, which you know will result in a wordy and unpleasant conversation in which your ex will proceed to make you out to be this immature loser who can't let go of the past.
I can't tell you what you should do, but I'll tell you what I did. I stuck my silly little head right down in the sand & pretended I never saw it. After a couple weeks or so of covertly reading his fb posts without responding to his friend request, the ex inadvertently gave me a better answer to my dilemma. He wrote a post about my parenting choices. Not only was it unflattering, but it was also untrue. In every situation life presents, it's my natural inclination to be extremely defensive. It's 100x worse when it involves my child. Therefore, I got mad, indignant, and contemplated calling him up and ripping him a new one. That plan left my head as quickly as it entered b/c I knew it wouldn't solve anything. I mean, come on! We were together for 10 years and literally NEVER solved an argument. At the end, we were still fighting about things we fought about in the early days. No joke. So how on Earth could I think that fighting after we're divorced would yield a different result?! Instead, I did the best, most logical thing: I blocked his sorry ass.
I'm not going to claim to be the queen of ex etiquette, but it seems to me that sometimes it pays to eliminate the temptation altogether. Truth be told, had I not been little Ms. Nosy Parker, I would have just blocked him from the get-go. Either way, it's done and I'm much happier. So when it comes to ex's online, just remember the words of the incomparable Kevin Smith: KA-BLOCK!