This week has flown by & I've spent most of it in a funk. We loaned a friend $100 last Friday & he was supposed to pay it back the very next day. Alas, it's been a week since we gave him the money & we haven't received a dime in repayment. It has eaten me alive thinking about how he played us for fools. If I knew where he lived, I'd be on his doorstep, but I only have his phone number & after literally filling is voicemail box, I've started texting him multiple times a day. My favorite time to text is in the morning before I leave for work. I leave the house a little after 4am, so I'm sure it's not the greatest time to get a text message. He hasn't responded since last Tuesday when he promised to pay us on Wednesday. Despite his lack of response, I continue to send texts reminding him what that $100 meant to my family (it was our electric bill money) & what it cost him (a 20 yr friendship) when he decided to burn us. I've made a commitment to myself to not think about it this weekend & just focus on being w/ my family. However, when Tuesday rolls around, I'll be texting again. I know it won't bring me my money back, but it will make things extremely uncomfortable for him, which is the next best thing to actually getting repaid.
|Me at the beach 2007|
Speaking of reading, I added a little widget here on my blog that shows how many books I've read this year. I have an account on goodreads.com b/c I'm a hopeless book junkie. While messing around w/ my profile on there, I saw an opportunity to join a 2012 book challenge where I could set myself a goal for how many books I want to read this year. I set my goal at 40 & I'm currently about 25% of the way through my 21st book. Not too shabby for a girl w/ no free time. The only reason I really get to read as much as I do is b/c I steal time to do it. For example, part of my job in the mornings at work is to download the previous day's results & update them in our system. There are 2 portions of that task that require me to sit & wait for it to run through some processes, which take between 5-15 minutes each, depending on how many calls were made the day before. That's buys me 10-30 minutes 5 days a week to sit & read, guilt free. The computer is frozen up while these processes are running, so it's either read or stare at the screen forever. Then there is the time from when I arrive at Trin's school to when she actually gets into the car. Trin is a dawdler, so I usually sit in the car for at least 10-20 minutes while she casually strolls out of class, stops & talks to all her friends, and climbs a tree in the grassy area by the parking lot. Sometimes I even get 5 or 10 minutes later in the afternoon while I'm waiting for the hubs to get off work. I think the time I get to sneak in a few pages of reading is the only thing that keeps me from hating my role as family chauffeur.
I'm not one to be content sitting still. I often wonder how I ever handled life before my child was born. I think back & it's a miracle I made it this far. It's no wonder I was so depressed & even suicidal. I had only 2 friends whom I didn't really spend much time with, no children, a husband I loathed, and a broken family. Until I started working for the company I work at now, I couldn't even find fulfillment in my job. I didn't volunteer or get involved in anything. My time was spent reading, writing, and doing the occasional cross-stitching project. As hectic as things are now, it's perfect for me b/c not only do I enjoy being busy, what I'm doing is fulfilling. I'm a partner in a good marriage, I'm raising a child, I volunteer my time to helping a non-profit I love, and now I'm assisting my mom when she needs me most. I can't lie to myself or anyone else & claim perfection. I can't even claim anything near to perfection. But I have direction, hobbies, passions. I have love & humor in abundance. Now if I could just make it to the beach this weekend, I think I'd be able to face the world w/ a renewed spirit. Refreshed & ready for more.