I wrote the letter and saved it as a word doc simply named "Letter of Resignation". I then drafted an email to several key figures in the company, with a simple signature in the body of the email, and the subject line "Last Day at ComNet". I attached the word doc and sent the misleading email off to it's intended
Here is what the letter said:
Presley M. Sams, Independent Contractor
ComNet Marketing Group, Inc
Friday, February 27, 2015
Dear Mr. Endrikat:
Please accept this letter as a formal notice that I wish to resign from my position as Chief Trouble Maker at ComNet Marketing Group, effective immediately.
In my 11 months as Chief Trouble Maker, I have made many improvements to the Operations Department, of which I never received compensation, bonuses, or awards of any kind. I have single-handedly improved employee morale, redecorated the shared workspace with items from my own personal collection, provided ample snacks, and promoted physical fitness by encouraging each employee to take short walks and lift me up several times per day. In addition to these many changes within the Operations Department, my mere presence has increased employee happiness and general feelings of well-being throughout the company.
When I leave today, I will be retaining all of my personal property including but not limited to my Barbie doll, Little Mermaid vanity, Disney Princess couch, Cheerios, sippy cup, and Tonka board books. Should ComNet choose to continue the beautification process in Operations, it will be their sole responsibility to provide the décor.
In closing, I would like to say that despite the lack of compensation, I have rather enjoyed the hospitality ComNet has provided me these last several months. I have appreciated the kindness each employee has shown, as well as the free-flowing breast milk, casual dress code, and ample surfaces upon which I could leave sticky little fingerprints. For this, I will always be grateful for the opportunity and will give ComNet a glowing recommendation whenever possible.
Presley M. Sams
The response was immediate. I overheard laughter from a cubicle not far from mine. I also received several replies via email. The general consensus was shock, fear, and then laughter. Happy with the reaction, I've decided to print the letter of resignation and the reply emails, and put them into the time capsule I'm putting together for Presley.
It's the end of an era, y'all. Part of me is happy to have a "break" from this crazy, wild, beautiful little lunatic, but mostly I'm sad that I won't have my constant companion with me at work anymore. Will I survive? Of course I will. So will she. Still, I'm going to miss having her around. My oldest daughter was 2 before she went into daycare and the emotions were the exact same. I adjusted, as us working Moms do, and Trinity was certainly no worse for the wear. It's just hard not to be emotional. At least I got to give my co-workers a good jolt in the process. *cue evil laughter*