Tuesday, November 10, 2015


I think I may have reached the point where my mind snaps and I get entirely too much amusement out of things no one else in the world would find funny.  Case in point: yesterday I live tweeted most of the day I spent home w/ a sick toddler.

I don't know if I should say something, but dictator Presley smells like poop.
She just shoved her doll's seat in my face, demanding I unbuckle it for her.

I think she's drunk. She just fell over her own 2 feet, stood up, grabbed my arm, yelled "Scooby Doo" in my face, then said "poop" and ran.

Yep, definitely drunk. She just head butted the sliding glass door.

Dictator's eating lunch so I cleaned up toys &unearthed about a dozen plastic food containers.

She's signaling the end of lunch by throwing noodles and her cup on the floor, and crying.

The dog ate her lap noodles. She smells like poop again.

She's demanding "tinkle sy" which means Twinkle Twinkle Little Star vids on YouTube.

I didn't turn on the video fast enough so she threw a shoe.

She refused a nap, so it's Cutthroat Kitchen, couch, and blanky. This won't last long.

She's asleep, she's asleep! But she's asleep on my arm and I'm hungry. Noooooo!

Fever spiked during her nap. :( Gave her a dose of tylenol and she's asleep on my chest.

I cherish cuddles, but worry my body heat is counterproductive. Gonna attempt to lay her down...after a kiss.

I don't need a thermometer to know her temp has gone down a bit. I can tell by her enthusiastic nose picking.

She is emptying her drawer of mega blocks onto my lap. Now she's raking them onto the floor.

After she gagged, I tried to fish out the cardboard. She bit my finger. Hard.

I turned my back for a second&she dug something from under the stove&ate it. Smells like burned coffee bean.

Got most of the unknown substance out of her mouth and rinsed it thoroughly. Still can't tell what it was.

Found an unchewed fragment. It was a pumpkinseed. But that begs the question: this year's batch or last year's?

Willy Wonka and an Olaf hat are currently keeping the menacing down to a minimum.
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Dinner, bath, at least 4 meltdowns. She's in her Minnie jammies drinking juice, plotting her next big fit.

Mini meltdown over daddy going to the bathroom. Then another over shoes. Time to wind her down for bed.

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