Monday, February 7, 2011

Always the catalyst

I play the role of catalyst very well. Who better to do the job than the unrefined, mouthy girl who is easy to dislike? And I accept this role b/c frankly, it fits me. I also accept it b/c I know there's really not a whole hell of a lot I can do to change it at this point in my life anyway. It is who I am and that's perfectly okay by me. The only downside is that while my intentions are pure, good does not always prevail and the wrong people can get hit w/ the shrapnel when I pop off at the mouth. The right people get hit harder, but I'd prefer no innocent bystanders be hurt in the cross-fire.

You know, I am very opinionated and I have very little problem expressing these opinions freely w/ the people I am close to and comfortable with. But I do know when it's best to keep my mouth shut and am quite capable of doing that, also. I don't like it as much, but sometimes it's more beneficial for everyone if I just bite my tongue and paste a fake smile on my face and I'm pretty good at discerning which situations call for which reaction. Then there are those people who just push and push until I absolutely cannot stand it any longer. Once that happens, I consider the consequences worth the chance to speak my piece.

By now, it's obvious that I'm mentioning all this b/c that is exactly what happened this weekend. My best friend's soon-to-be-ex-husband's girlfriend had the audacity to try to friend me on facebook. Since I make it a point to only friend people I like on facebook, I denied her request & sent her an email stating that she's crazy for sending me a friend request on facebook b/c it's never gonna happen. She emailed something back about me being childish or something stupid. I responded that I'm not her boyfriend's friend and therefore I'm not required to accept her in any sense of the word. I didn't insult her but I made it clear that my loyalties are not wavering in the slightest. She responded w/ more about being childish and several more ridiculous remarks that lacked punctuation and grammatical accuracy. At that point, I chose the path of silence and never responded b/c it just didn't seem worth my time. There's no reasoning or discussing anything with a person like that and I also didn't feel the need to "defend" myself against her accusations of puerility. Flash forward to the next day. My besty put a status message about not wanting to do dishes but doing them anyway. Her & I banter back & forth in comments, insulting each other as we always do. At the end, I made a very obvious dig at the "girlfriend" and her lack of education, morals, and hygiene but did so in such a way that I knew my besty would be the only person who knew what I was referring to. Knowing that the "girlfriend" is not on my besty's friend's list, I didn't think twice about making the joke. But the "girlfriend" apparently facebook spies on my besty's page and decided I was out of line for what I said and sent me a snarky email about how she's college educated, has strong morals and doesn't need penicillin. After 2 years of keeping my quiet and being nice to the cheating-ass husband and never saying what I really felt to the "girlfriend" despite the horrible things she has said and done to my besty, I came unglued. I unleashed a tirade of insults and brutal (but 100% honest) remarks about her and the soon-to-be-ex-husband. Then I blocked her b/c I knew that she would just keep it going and after having said what I wanted to say, I didn't feel the need to continue our drama.

Caught in the crossfire are my besty & her oldest child, whom the "girlfriend" has moved in on as a way to hurt my besty. The child in question is only 14 years old so she can't see what is going on or how she is being used. But this "girlfriend" is going around provoking anyone she knows that dislikes her. I don't know if her goal is to push people away or if she honestly thinks that she can bully people into accepting her. Whatever the case may be, I kept my cool b/c I didn't want to cause more problems for my friend or her daughter. But it finally became ridiculous and I let her have it, knowing there was only so much she could do to cause more issues than she already has. I said what I wanted to say, then shut it down so it wouldn't go further. It was no surprise that the soon-to-be-ex-husband promptly logged into his daughter's account & blocked me. Nor was it much of a surprise that the "girlfriend" called my besty and went off on her for what I said. I regret that they were pulled into it, but I don't regret what I said. Someone needed to say it and there are certain situations where it doesn't bother me a bit to be hated. I stood up for my friend and got a lot of my chest in the process. Now they can stew and I can move on.

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