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Thursday, April 12, 2012

Keeping Up


I am participating in the Blogging From A-Z Challenge. Each day in April (except the last 4 Sundays), I will post topic themes that begin with the letters of the alphabet, from A-Z. Today's letter is K.

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As a woman, I find myself going in a zillion different directions, taking on more than my fair share, and trying to do it all w/ grace.  I also fail at all of these things on a regular basis.  Some days my only comfort is knowing I'm not alone. Unfortunately, there are women who have the destructive and extremely misguided notion that we should be like vicious predators, picking apart the weakest members of a herd to demonstrate our own superiority.

A perfect example of this is my sister-in-law.  She has the keeping up with the Jones' mentality.  Whenever she sees someone doing something major in their life (buying a car or house, having kids, getting married, etc.), she has this need to one-up them somehow.  She just has to be better than everyone in some way, even if there is really no competition to do so. This has always frustrated me b/c I feel as if we should be a united front, not competitors.  

What she (and many other women) fail to understand is that we all struggle to keep up.  Whether it's at work or at home; metaphorically or in the most literal sense of the word.  The truth is, no one, NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON, can keep up with everything all the time.  As my boss likes to say, "some days you get the bear & some days the bear gets you".  The last thing in the world any of us should be doing is kicking someone when they're down.

Us women need to stick together.  We're the only ones who truly understand how much our fellow sisters take on in a single day.  When one of us is struggling, we should encourage them to take a moment & cry it out, then help them stand back up & carry on.  We all have a hard time keeping up with our daily responsibilities, why should we try to force ourselves to keep up (and outdo) each other?!  

Last night was not a great one for me.  I had a mommy meltdown, yelled at my kid for making a huge mess in my room, and went to bed in tears.  I didn't clean my house (though it desperately needed it) and I didn't cuddle w/ my hubs on the couch like we usually do right before bed.  I was so unbelievably overwhelmed by everything, from the laundry to the mess my kid made to the dirty dishes in the sink.  I don't feel this way all the time, but occasionally it all piles up and I simply break down.  

When I stopped crying, I grabbed my phone & posted on my fb that it just wasn't my night.  Most people don't feel the need to share such information in a public forum like that, but all too often I see people only posting when things are going well.  They project these unrealistic illusions of having it all together & I decided I'd let my flaws hang out.  When I woke up this morning, I had several comments from friends encouraging me and letting me know I'm not alone.  I can't tell you how much better I feel today!  After making my apologies, getting an extra hour of sleep, and seeing the outpouring of support from my friends, my spirit is renewed.  I have what I need to keep going & face the things that bogged me down yesterday.  And that, my friends, is how it should be.  

16 comments:

  1. I lucked out & work with a great bunch of women who encourage each other every single day!

    Today will be better for you, I just know it.

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    1. Thank you! As you can see I haven't done so well keeping up w/ comments. *lol*

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  2. I completely understand that feeling you had last night! You are right that we all need to support each other and be there to hold each other up , not tear others down.

    Asking for a bit of virtual support is an amazing thing to do and it is surprising how helpful it is.

    Just keep breathing - as long as you remember that part the rest will follow :)

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    1. I think most people have a difficult time asking for help. It's almost like there needing support is a sign of weakness when it really shouldn't be. We should all be here to help support, motivate, & inspire one another.

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  3. I do believe we all have days where absolutely everything just falls apart. We cry, we have an all out pity party, we whine to anyone who will listen and then...we just get back on the horse and ride into a new day. Know why? Because we are women and women rule the world. If we don't carry on, nothing goes forth. God made us strong enough to bear children and strong enough to bear life.
    Hang on baby girl, a new days a comin' and you'll be ready!

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    1. Life is certainly a roller coaster & it seems us women get hit the hardest sometimes. But you're right, we rule the world so what else is there to do but keep on keeping on?! :)

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  4. The thing to remember is that everyone has days like this. It's just that some will never admit it.

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  5. There sure are those days. Tears help, being willing to say "screw it" and walk away from it all for a bit helps, and reaching out and being honest (and vulnerable) helps, too. Tons.

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    1. I have definitely reached my "screw it" point many times in the past & will in the future, too. It's all par for the course. :)

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  6. All the comments above are spot on. I'd add....chocolate and wine go a long way for me in bringing me back from the overwhelming-edge-of-having-just-too-many-things-to-do-and-not-enough-time-to-do-them-in! Whew. Pardon me while I go pour myself a glass....
    (Just kidding - I'm at work.) ;-)

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    1. It's a little late, but I did get my chocolate & wine. Yesterday was the end of my totally dairy-free odyssey & I ended it w/ these AMAZING brownies my friend made. Wine helped the brownies go down nice & smooth! *lol*

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  7. My child is 39 now, but I remember so many days like you describe here. I hope you know to be gentle with yourself. Being a mom is the hardest thing any of us does, plus take care of a husband and a house and if we work outside the home and and and.
    Karen

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    1. The ands just keep on coming, don't they?! *lol*

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  8. Everybody has days like that. It is nothing to be ashamed of, it is just part of life. Glad you feel better now. It is often overwhelming but somehow we soldier on.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you! I do feel better, although based on how belated my comments are, you can see I'm still having a hard time keeping up w/ everything. Hehehe!

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